Speaking of Sick Days...

After the cold turned into a sinus infection, the other symptoms I developed finally started to uncover themselves as the antibiotic cleared up my nose.

I was tired and groggy. Didn't think anything of it. My body fluids changed, but I blamed it on having an infection.

I got itchy all over. Well, it's cold and dry, and I haven't been on an antibiotic in years so maybe it's just a little reaction.

Saw my OB as scheduled and left feeling like all was well.

And then it wasn't. I got sicker. I got WAY itchier. I got labs done. I got anxious because the labs took forever to come back. I got educated on what I thought might be going on. I got validation on Friday when I finally went in to see my OB again, my labs were off and he made the call to send me to the hospital for observation.

We have a diagnosis, treatment, and a plan for delivery. All is well. Uh, except for the part where I want to rip my own flesh off at night because it itches so bad.

But what I REALLY sat down to say is that this whole situation, though uncomfortable and at times frustrating, has never once been scary.

I have had a feeling all along that something was going to go "wrong" during this pregnancy. I wasn't paranoid. I believed the doctors and nurses when they measured, weighed, observed, and documented my progress as "exactly right on track" and "perfect for where you are." I never felt nervous- just certain that there would be some kind of obstacle to overcome.

I made it to 35 weeks. All was cozy and I wasn't quite to the point where I felt I had earned the right to want it to be OVER...At that point there was very little risk even if I were to go into labor prematurely.

The 36th week was when it all went down. And even still, the treatment plan includes delivery at 37 weeks at which point she is considered "term" and will not need any interventions unless she presents any signs of distress. No testing or medication is necessary for her to be perfectly healthy at delivery.

Aside from the emotional and logistical aspects of having a complication at the end of pregnancy, there's always the financial side to deal with.

And here we come to the point that ties it all together. IF I had not had to resign early from my position where I had commercial health insurance, and IF I had not previously lost my job and applied for coverage through Medicaid, we'd be paying for all of this. But as it is, everything was in place and active. All of my uncommon prescriptions, my multiple trips to the hospital for monitoring, my rare blood tests, and ultimately the delivery are covered in full.

The Lord knew what He was doing. And I had a feeling this was going to happen. I'm also grateful for the example of my older brother who, while he was in college had the faith along with his wife to start their family despite not having an income. They also had help with medical coverage and when his firstborn had to be delivered at 24 weeks and receive months of medical treatment, it was all covered. That experience taught me not to be ashamed of getting help. It taught me that when we do what is right, and we do what we can, and we do our best, the Lord will guide us to be in the best situation we can be.

I know He did that with us, and it is that trust in Him that has carried me through the last week without fear or worry or stress. We are in good hands.

On accepting assistance

When I left the world of full time employment, it put the burden on my husband to support us- something he has been working towards and desiring but has not been in a position to do up to now. He is finishing his degree and while he's been working part time, it's basically a minimum wage job.

We knew the time was soon approaching when my salary would be deleted from our budget so he was already pursuing higher paying full time positions when I unexpectedly had to leave my job two months early. Things have worked out for us, and he's starting next week at a new, better job.

But even with that in place, we're going to be squeaking by. As such, we qualify for a few different types of assistance from our community. There are resources out there that help. It is a very new perspective for me to be on the applying/receiving end since I studied Child Development and have been a nurse in the outpatient setting for most of my career. I'm used to referring people to and offering these kinds of things. Not needing them.

But there is so much available!

My grocery list was basically cut in half this week because we got our food assistance up and running. What a huge relief. As it turns out, I've been anemic for a few weeks and getting the right fruits, veggies, and meats is becoming a big concern. My numbers aren't going up with my typical diet so I'm going to have to be more deliberate in what we eat this week. And the help we're getting financially is going to make that possible without being an added burden.

There is a reason these things are out there. Don't struggle. Don't get bogged down. Talk to someone at the health department or even your insurance agency and see what they can offer you.

I'll admit this has been easier for me to swallow since I have a huge baby belly leading out in all of the conversations I have. It is my "excuse" so to speak, when my pride needs it.

The dietitian I met with today put it this way- this is a system you've been paying into your whole life. It's just your turn to be on the receiving end for a little while.

And that's our plan. When he's done with school, my husband's career will pay for our needs. It's just for now, for the baby, when we need it most. And I'll tell you, since the moment it all went through my mind has been at ease, my attitude improved, my stress level decreased, my sleep is deeper and overall I feel more like myself.

Help is a good thing.

Saying things Out Loud

Since the experience I had with finding Salmon on special, and I feel like a few other items fell into that same wish list to on sale magic pattern, this week during my meal planning I REALLY wanted to make my Mom's italian vat-o-goodness which is just every kind of meat you can think of in a deep pan with red sauce, served over any kind of pasta noodle (but we usually use a thicker shape like penne or rotini).

I have pork and chicken in the freezer so the next best thing that would take it up a notch would be Italian sausage. I know our local meat market makes their own so that would be an option- meaning I could buy just ONE and have plenty while not having to over buy. But I wasn't going to leave it at that. I yelled to my husband, "I'm saying this out loud as an act of faith. I wish I could find a deal this week on Italian sausage."

As I combed through the weekly ads I found one, and then two, and then three different stores with Italian sausage- each better than the next- all on sale, in packages of 19 oz each. THREE people. And that doesn't even count whatever the price is at the meat market. I strongly believe that planning and preparing is a principle of faith and that it becomes a source of action for good in our lives. The good that God wants to give us if we just ask Him!

The miracle of the salmon

Something you might not know about me is that I'm obsessed with the culinary arts. Mind you, I've never been trained in anything other than 7th grade home ec (which doesn't even exist anymore) but lately I've been expanding my knowledge base, and with it my interest, via the food network and other such programs highlighting the skills of trained professionals and those aspiring to be like them. I even have a cousin who is a personal chef and works for the Boston Globe in the food section, so I contacted her and got some fun tips on online cooking courses, now that I have more free time.

So the other night I was watching children make salmon en croute for Chef Gordon Ramsay and decided I'd like to try it. But when I looked up the recipe online, I found so many ingredients that aren't on my budget list or in my cupboard that my heart sank and I had resolved to let it go- it was a want not a need and I have plenty of other meals to make that I can do without buying a ton of one time use ingredients.

Tonight I went to our ladies' night activity at church and one of my best friends and the originator of most of the good ideas I ever have which end up posted here shared with me that Aldi has WILD CAUGHT salmon in their freezer selection right now for less than 4 bucks. And when I told her how I had written it down as an act of faith that maybe when I was out and about I'd find a good deal because sometimes faith is like that...I shared with her my desire to make this meal and she totally agreed, offering that she actually has coarse mustard and is going to a specialty store this week that sells cheap puff pastry. And then we had the brilliant idea to make it together! Seeing as how we're pretty sure no one else in our families will want to eat it, we can pool our resources and enjoy it together.

Just a little tender mercy from a loving God who saw I wanted to try something special and created a way out of no way. I was willing to "do without" but it looks like it will work out after all.

Here's the recipe if you want to give it a go. Good luck!